On females.

Brace yourselves men...you might find out something useful about your woman.  Although I would guess, most likely not...because I am a woman, and I am writing about myself and the truth is...I don't understand myself, so how could anyone else possibly understand me if I can't?

What we say:
It's not a big deal, I don't even know why I'm crying.  Leave me alone.

What we really mean:
It's a huge deal and I can't believe you don't understand why.  I really may not know why I'm crying but you better not leave me alone until I figure out what is bothering me otherwise I won't speak to you for the next 3 hours.

What we say:
My back hurts.

What we really mean:
You might want to come over here and rub my back, or tickle it, or snuggle with me in someway otherwise you might get in big trouble.

What we say:
Can you grab that thingy for me?

What we really mean:
Why do you insist on putting the rice maker up way higher than I can reach it and then make fun of me when I jump on the counter to get it because I'm too lazy to get a chair, Mr. 6 feet tall...

I could go on forever, I think...but seriously. we expect you to be mind readers...